:'/

So... I'm not sure were to start for this one. I guess I'll go back a few weeks ago when it all started. My grandmother had a case of pneumonia and she couldn't hardly breathe so she had to call an ambulance and was in the hospital for a weekend. While she was there in ICU, the doctor's discovered that her heart only has 20% capacity or whatever when she's supposed to have around 90% so it's pretty bad. The doctor's even told her that she could pretty much go at any moment and that basically she's a dying woman as we speak. That alone has got me upset. About a week or so after she got home from the hospital she went to a cardiologist for some tests and ended up having to spend the weekend with us. That same weekend she was put on oxygen for when she sleeps. They said eventually she'll probably have to be on it 24/7. Starts bothering me more at this point. Just yesterday we were at her house visiting for a little bit and she told us that now it doesn't take much for her to get short of breath. Like it only takes talking for too long and she starts to get short of breath and has to gain it back again. If you have ever met her, you know that this sounds nothing like her and this is how bad its getting and its getting there fast. Even when we see here now, the conversation comes up about what to do with her stuff, her will, and everything like that. They expect me to be the strong one too since in most other circumstances I am but in this one I'm usually crying my eyes out on the inside when they talk like that. And it doesn't help matters that I never know when I'm with her if it will be the last time I ever talk to her, hug her or say I love you to her. I really wish she could just get better and we go on with our lives happily but pretty much the only way for it to get better is for her to pass on to her perfect body in heaven that's waiting for her. All in all, this is a really hard time for me emotionally and it's probably going to get a lot worse before it'll get better.

♥